The Alchemyst

The Alchemyst by Michael Scott

I'm a little nervous about writing this, because it was the first book I ever reviewed. I wrote it for the school newspaper, which failed miserably. Instead of the official-looking news-packed bundle of paper we thought would make us all lots of money, we ended up with two badly printed pieces of paper that were handed out to the whole class ten minutes before school ended for the year. Ah well, we tried.

But back to the book. This is a good book. In fact, it is one of my favorites, along with the rest of the books on my expansive collection of shelves. However, it is one of the only series's (series? seriess's? Who knows.) that I have read more than twice. The only other two that I can think of are the Septimus Heap series (Very good, will be reviewed soon), and the Chronicles of Narnia. Narnia I read over and over because it's amazing, and the other two because I keep forgetting what happens. Which is why I have to get around to actually writing the review before I forget what happens.

This book is about two twins, Sophie and Josh Newman, who work across the street from each other. Sophie works for Perry Fleming in a tea shop, and Josh works for Nick Fleming in a book shop. Due to the occurrence of a "gas leak" the bookshop explodes, and everyone has "hallucinations" of "magic" and "mud people" walking across the "street" to the "bookshop" which "exploded." Oh no. I can't stop it, I'm about to go on a completely unrelated tangent and I will have to retype the entire review again. And now I'm discussing getting sidetracked. Anyways, the things that I was reminded of are A: a really funny bit from one of Dave Barry's book, can't remember which one, and B: this all sounds like Matrix doesn't it? Anyways, the "magic" and the "mud men" were all real.

And they have a big battle of magic and explosions and cool stuff, and then the evil guys (identified by black clothing) steal a book and run away, and manage to kidnap Perry too. After the battle Nick Fleming reveals that he is actually Nicholas Flamel, who (and you would know this if you read the front of the book) is both immortal, and has secrets. And he's an Alchemyst. Little does he know, that is not how you spell Alchemist! However, there is already a book called The Alchemist, so to avoid being sued by an auther with a computer, the immortal magician and alchmyst who has been defending the earth for over a hundred years needs to change the name of his entire occupation.

Also, the book that was stolen is the only thing keeping Nicholas and Perrenelle alive, and it has the key to destroying human life. And it is in the hands of EVIL. <insert dramatic music here>

All in all, it's a good book. The action is...um...ahh... actioney. It seems realistic. Well, as realistic as a magical duel can be. And the characters seem like real people with feelings, not bodies to imbue with magical powers so you can get good action scenes.

Reading that last paragraph again, there is one thing that has me thinking: what on earth does the phrase "all in all mean"?
Thank you Google, now I know that it originated in the 19th century and means "when everything is considered". Thanks to advertising I also know that if you want to lose weight you should never eat banana's that are infested with flies (why would eat those anyways?) and that there is a shirt in existence that is just one big picture of a cure dog face. Isn't the modern world wonderful?

Rangers Apprentice

Rangers Apprentice by John Flanagan

The Rangers Apprentice is set in medieval times, and follows the life of a young orphan named Will. He has always wanted to be a warrior, who he somehow knows was a great warrior, despite having never met either of his parents. However, on the day when orphans are chosen for a job, he is deemed to weak to be a warrior. The baron of his feif, whose job it is to choose a job for orphans, is given a letter from Halt, a Ranger (more on Rangers later). Desperate to know the contents of the letter, and fearing that he will be sentenced to life as a farmhand, he sneaks into the barons chambers at night. Now I would just like to say, this is no easy task. The barons chambers aren't a little building in the middle of nowhere. Were talking about a huge, heavily guarded, stone tower 50 feet in the air. At night. So anyways, he sneaks into the tower and gets caught by Halt. Will is very afraid, because Rangers are thought to use witchcraft and stuff. Turns out, the letter says that he will be sentenced to life as a Ranger. If you think that thats a spoiler, look at the title of the book. Rangers Apprentice. 

But what is a Ranger?

A Ranger is a master of everything. Master hunters, excellent archers, negotiators, spies, strategists, you name it. And they have cool horses that can speak in their mind. And they like coffee. A lot.

Amazing book, riveting action, I recommend it to everyone.

The Hunger Games

The Hunger Games by Suzzane Collins


If you haven't heard of this book, no offense, but you really aren't connected to society. That's how popular these books are. (very popular)


So anyways, here's what actually happens in the book. A girl named Katniss, (a type of plant formally called sagittaria, (also called arrowhead(this name makes sense because she is an amazing archer (hence arrowhead) and a good forager (hence he bit about being a plant)))(I think I am setting some record for number of parentheses all stuck together (but when i tried to google it all that popped up was some thing about tuples (???)))(Here ends the origin of Katniss's name in (parentheses))). Kaniss lives in district 12, who mine coal (this is set in future North America) for the capitol. And then, through some ritual that will be explained once you read the book, she is selected to go compete with 23 other children (she's like 16, by the way) in a battle to the death. :) That's about it. Except, of course, the fact that she meets an awesome little monkey girl named Rue, who d*#*@^.  Sorry just realized that I was about to spoil the book. She also gets chased by fireballs. And if you don't really like action, she might fall in love on the side or something.

This is an amazing book. Just ask anyone walking down the street with their Hunger Games shirt on wearing a mockingjay pin. Oh and if you haven't read the book yet, if you happen to be at a social meeting and someone says "may the odds be ever in your favor", laugh a lot or something because that's a line from the Hunger Games.

Just looking back on this review, I realize it's not my best work. I feel sorry for those of you who have nothing to do but read my blog. Maybe you should read a book. Perhaps even a book that you are reading about. However, It's not going to get better until spring break ends, because I'm in FLORIDA! So I don't care, 'cause I'm on a beach! :) And I don't have my computer, so I have to use one whose t-key sucks. In my opinion.

Also, there's a Hunger Games movie, which I'll review later.

Slathbog's Gold

Slathbog's Gold by M.L. Forman

I'm sick today, so I'm using the time that is usually  filled up with being bored to death in math with working on my blog.
Slathbog's Gold is a pretty good book, and the first novel written by Mr. Forman. It is about this guy named Alex, who is like me in that he is bored with some of his life (probably math) and wants to do something interesting. So he goes to the bookstore, where he sees a sign that says ADVENTURERS WANTED and that interests him. At first he looks away, and then he goes to look at it one more time, and it magically changes colors (I think) and now says ADVENTURERS WANTED:  APPLY WITHIN. So Alex goes in and tries to ask the bookstore keeper about the apparently magical sign outside. I say tries, because he fails miserably. The bookstore keeper, Mr. Clutter, pretty much signs a form for Alex. He could be evil, and just signed away Alex's soul, but he didn't, which is a pity, because that would make a very interesting book. he only got signed on to an Adventure, of which he knows nothing of, and is magically teleported through the back door with a dwarf and an elf, into a place called Telouse, where he buys a magic bag, a sword, and all the gear in the world. The magic bag allows you to hold lots of treasure and supplies and stuff weightlessly. I need one of those for my math book. The sword just happens to be an ancient magical sword, and the armorer said that he could also use a staff, which means he is a wizard, which means that he is ridiculously over powered. Oh, and the quest that they are on is to kill a dragons, named Slathbog, hence the title.


Some stuff I don't like


First of all, everyone can read everyone's emotions like a book, which is a little unreal
Secondly, everyone is super respectful, which is also a little unreal.
Third, people on a quest that needs to be finished do not go party all summer in the elven lands! They do their quest!
And finally, something that gets more problematic in later books in this series, is that Alex can literally destroy anything! I mean, even Eragon,  great dragon rider and stuff, gets bested in sword duels, has at least four people that he is afraid of, and he gets reprimanded by dragons! It seems more real if your hero/heroine has some problems!

Gregor the Overlander

Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins
Pages: 311

This is a wonderful book. It is another one of my favorite books, and I recommend it to everyone. It's not a extremely long book, but it packs a ton of action and emotion.

It starts of as kind of a cliche, a boy goes into a world parallel to his own, etc. etc. These kinds of books are great, but the one thing that really annoys me is when the person who goes into the other world is completely unable to do anything useful, just wants to get home no matter how much the other world/nation/people need your help, but still expect them to worship you as their savior. Even though you have done nothing. This book isn't like that.

One day, Gregor is taking the laundry to the laundry room in his apartment with his baby sister, Boots, who, being a baby, manages to find her way into the smallest possible space that she isn't supposed to be in (sort of like cats). So she gets into the grate behind the laundry machine, and Gregor goes to get her. She falls down the tube pipe thing. He follows her. They fall forever. And then they land in a big cave. And then...

These gigantic cockroaches come and look at them. Gregor is scared out of his mind, while Boots goes up to touch the "beeg bugs." This is followed by an awesome adventure to slay the rat king Gorger and save the  world, which is called Underland. Oh, and when I say rat king, I mean giant rat king. And giant bats, and giant spiders, and all kinds of fun things.

The story and the adventure in this book is great, but my favorite part is probably the characters. Gregor actually cares about the fate of the Underland, and of the people who live there, and Boots adds an element of humor to the whole story. I mean really, who cant resist a two year old who is always, always happy and cheerful?

Even with Boots happiness, Suzzane Collins still manages to make the book very intense and a little bit sad, which adds a sense of reality. There are four more books in this series, and they just get better and better.