Lord of the Flies

Lord of the Flies by William Golding



      Apparently, this is a classic, one of those books you are told that you have to read by the time you start getting a job and having no time to read and stuff, but when you finish them you start to wonder why these things became so famous, because they are really not that great, and it had a lot of repetition and metaphor and all that good stuff. Now I have nothing against metaphors, they are perfectly fine. But olden metaphors either make no sense, or they go on for so long that you forget what they are metaphoring. For example, do you really need an entire page to say what the wind is like? Really? So as you can see, I am still me, and I still require at least a paragraph to actually start writing anything about the book I intent to write about in the first place. For example (sorry, I get sidetracked easily. Like that one time...), This entire blog was supposed to be about books, but at least one fourth of it is about something else entirely. But anyways, this time for real...

Lord of the Flies by William Golding




      This one is a classic (see above).  It starts, and this is a little confusing, with some (two) school boys walking along on what they think is an deserted island, after there school plane crashed because it's World War Two and 50% of all planes crash, not including the ones that just crash into the end of the runway, and the ones that just explode when they engine starts. This is clear to the 19whenever-it-was (maybe 1960?) reader, because planes full of schoolboys were constantly crashing into islands (?!) at the time.
      So anyways, they find a conch shell, which they blow into, and all the little schoolboys come running. They form something that seems vaguely like a supposed democracy, that is actually a dual-warring dictatorship (a dictatorship run by two dictators who are subtly battling for power), with a touch of hippocracy, because that is just a word spelled wrong that sounds good in this situation, not because there were any hippos, political or otherwise. Basically the whole story is just the two popular kids, one of them that is moderately intelligent, and one who is moderately strong, fighting for dominance, and the only person who has any brains at all, you guessed it, the unpopular nerd (GO NERDS!!!) attempting to stop them all from dying. I think something sorts of dramatic happens at the end, but I was reading this kind of late at night, so I was half asleep. So I cant spoil it for you.

Leviathan

Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld


But on to the book. It takes place in the age of Steampunk, which you should google if you've never heard of it, and I would google it for you, but the google at the coffee shop I'm working in is broken. So do it yourself. The two main characters, Alek of Austria-Hungary, and Deryn, a girl who is pretending to be a boy so as to get into the British Army of Britain. Europe is divided onto two factions, the Darwinists and the Clankers. The Darwinists cross-breed animals, such as flying whales (more on that later), and the Clankers make big machines, like the Stormwalker, which is really just a giant tank on legs. The story starts with Alek being kidnapped by his fencing instructor, who tells him that his parents (the important people of somewhere) were assassinated, which, in the course of a few weeks plunges all of Europe into war.Then, on Deryn's side of Europe, she is being tested into the British Air Service, which means that she must fly a Huxley, one of the earlier and harder to control fabricated beasties, way up in the sky, where she gets blown arounf in a storm and rescued by the Leviathan, the biggest airships in the world, and she is whisked of into an exciting adventure through the skies blah blah blah. And Alek goes on an exciting and dangerouse mission blah blah blah. But it's still a good book.

Divergent

Divergent by Veronica Roth


This book is amazing. Absolutely wonderful. A bit of mature content, but not much.

The book is set in a future Chicago, where the city is divided into five factions, each of which focuses on a specific trait. The factions are as follows: Abnegation, the selfless, Dauntless, the, well, dauntless, Erudite, the smart, Amity, the peaceful, and  Candor, the honest.

The main character is named Beatrice, who is Abnegation, on the day she takes the test to find what faction she is best suited for. and she finds that she finds out that she can be either Abnegation, Candor, or Dauntless, which means she is Divergent, which apparently is very dangerous. She chooses:


Warning: the following may be considered a spoiler, so you might not want to read it, but maybe you do, and maybe this messege should end. Well, maybe not, but it will, Goodbye.


Dauntless. I forgot to mention that the Dauntless get around on trains that don't stop, ever. So the first test is to get on and off the train, and the second test is to jump of a building into a hole with a net at the bottom that nobody ever told you about. Then there is a grueling initiation thingamajig, and then there is a major plot twist that is


More warnings!! The following is a major spoiler that just about tells you everything that happens so yeah.


Somehow, which you would know if you had read the book, everyone is brainwashed and goes to war with Abnegation. And this is kind of a random plot change, but it works nicely. READ THE BOOK!!!! 

On the Subject of FunDip...

Yes, you read that right, FunDip. And yes, I'm actually going to right a longish post on FunDip that will be funny, scientific, and captivating. I believe that it can be done. I may be wrong.

I have discovered two fundamental rules of FunDip. They are as follows:

Rule One: Never, I repeat NEVER, put FunDip in a small cup and attempt to lick it out of the cup, followed by a sudden exhalation of air (or any gas) from your nose. This will cause the FunDip to fly up into your face, rendering you blind unless you have sufficient eye protection. You may think that breathing into the cup would force the FunDip down, but FunDip defies the law that atleast one part of any object must be remotely natural, so it may as well defy gravity.

Rule Two: Never, I repeat NEVER, I repeat my repetition NEVER, mix FunDip with water.You may assume that mixing red FunDip with water would make a red sugar water. But FunDip doesn't act according to natural rules. It becomes a murky brown substance, that when drank causes the drinker to gag violently, and when mixed just the right way, to die a horrible death. NEVER do this!!

I have thaught of some other things, namely:

FunDip is not at all natural. In fact, the only way that I can think of to make FunDip is to take some artificial dirt made of plastic substitute, encased in a glass dome to keep out all air, and anyone who enters the dome must wear protective garb to keep their naturalness out, and the must plant fake plastic substitute sugarcane seeds, followed by constructing artificial steel sugarcane, harvesting the artificialness to soak with sugar, and then remove the sugar and add this mix of chemicals that they call "Blue 1." This clearly is a poison that didn't work quite right, or an alien extract. I have to go with the latter.

So I did some research, and I found this quote:

In May of 2007 our son had a package of Lik-M-Aid (also known as Fun

Dip) by Wonka....Within a couple of hours his entire mouth was ringed by an acid burn. 

 

People are getting ACID BURNS from FUNDIP. Clearly this an alien attempt to slowly poison our planet. Yep, I can make a pretty good conspiracy theory, can't I?

According to the Urban Dictionary, FunDip is:

A disgusting American candy popular with hyperactive six year olds. Sugar, citric acid, and food coloring reduced to a powder and served with a candy "stick" to lick the powder off of.

So yes, it IS possible to post a long article with at least two quotes from good sources, a conspiracy theory, two viable laws of the universe, about FUNDIP!!! Yes, it is possible. My work for today is done.

Fahrenheit 451

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

This book was written about 50 years ago, so it is in a different style of writing than more modern books, which makes it a bit of a harder read, but still a good one.

This book is in the future, but it is the future from 50 years ago, so it doesn't have aliens and lasers or anything. No new inventions, but people think a different way. Knowledge isn't worth anything, and TV screens cover all four walls in the room, and pointless facts are screamed endlessly into peoples face. The book goes something like this:

It is about a guy named Guy Montag, but he is referred to as Montag most of the time. He is a fireman, who's job is starting fires. He burns illegal books (all books) and the houses they are found in. One day, he meets a girl who makes him rethink his life, and he starts to rebel, which gets him into a lot of trouble. I really can't think of what else happens, because most of it is about how Montag is thinking, which is really hard to sum up into a summary.

It has a little bit of an abrupt ending, but the last ten or few pages give a sense of ending, so although it has an abrupt ending, you knew it was coming and were ready for it. So I think it works well.

This Idea That I Had...

So I had this idea (never a good thing) about books, which is surprising, as this is a blog about books and I'm therefore not supposed to use it for writing about books, but I had an idea while doing my science homework (just finished, thankfully) about books.

I also just looked back at the last paragraph and realized that it could have been said like this: "I had an idea about books." But that would have been boring.

So the idea is that once an author finished writing a book that he/she liked and everyone liked liked, he/she would go through it and identify points of dramatic and important plot changes and decisions. Then he/she would decide them some other way, and rewrite the book. For example, in a book, you have:
Point of Interest (PoI) A, PoI b, PoI c, etc. Then PoI A would change, making PoI B and so on different, and the resulting book would be called "Book XYZ* (real title) PoI A, Choice 2" because it is still the same book (Book XYZ) but with PoI A altered to Choice 2, because the original would be choice 1. But eventually, you would have PoIs within these choices, so it would be something immensely complicated, something like "Book XYZ, PoI A, Choice 2, PoI A.a, Choice 5, etc." And all the titles would be in little tiny lettering so that it would all fit on a book cover.

Maybe it needs a little bit of refining. But so do all brilliant ideas. But maybe...

Maybe some author came up with this when the constitution was being written, and the constitutional people kept getting notes from this guy saying things like "The Constitution, PoI A, Choice 3, Certain Death to America." If I was writing the constitution:
A. I would ignore these crazy letters, because unless I had thought of it, which I might have, they would make no sense.
B: I would invent computers and abolish itchy wig things that look stupid and occasionally mutate into evil beasts.
But I'm not writing the constitution, which is probably a good thing.

This post has got out of hand, hasn't it? It's like like those wigs, mutating into ravenous beasts of random writing and thought.



*After I had posted this, I looked up Book XYZ, and there is an xyz book store, and a book called the ABC's of XYZ. So what do ya know, it is a real title!

Arthas, Rise of the Lich King

Arthas, Rise of the Lich King by Christie Golden

This is a very good book. It starts with a prologue that really doesn't make much sense, but the rest of the book is great. The main character is Arthas, Prince of Lorderon, and his adventures with Uther, his palladin trainer, against the orcs, and Jaina, his girlfriend. Arthas is sent to investigate a plague, which has horrible consequences, instantly killing all who contract it and turning them into mindless undead. He finds a runeblade called Frostmourne frozen in the arctic wastes of Northrend. Frostmourne, inhabited by the Lick King, is both a powerful weapon, and an unstoppable corrupting force.And any Warcraft player knows the rest...
And if you don't know, then pick up the book. It's very interesting.

Warcraft Novels

This post isn't about a book, or some new big thing one the blog, it is to define a new genre label tag thing that I am going to be posting some things under. As you may have guessed, this genre is Warcraft Novels. If you are wondering what makes books under this category speciail, read on. The definition of a Warcraft Novel is any book based on Blizzards fantastic game series, Warcaft. If you have never heard of Warcraft, read the whole post, if you have heard of it, skip the next paragraph.


Just What Is Warcraft?

Warcraft is a big computer game that is very fun. I really can't give you much about Warcraft, or the second and third etc. ones, because I play the sequel, World of Warcraft (WoW).WoW is amazing, it is an MMORPG, which, for you non-gamers out there, stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. Simply put, a game in which lots of people (a few million) are playing and interacting on one world, and that you control a character who runs around doing stuff. Think of it as a online fantasy book that you get to play a part in, along with millions of other people, battling all sorts of enemies, from docile boars, to kobolds, to vile cultists, demons, undead,  and dragons! You simply have to choose a race and class, and venture out for glory and honor. But enough about that, if you want to know more, go to The Site at Which You Will Know More About WoW At!

What are WoW Novels Like?

Now, you may think that WoW is one of those games that just goes and tells you to go kill stuff for no apparent reason. You would be gravely mistaken. WoW has an immense storyline, many historical figures (Deathwing, Archimonde, Thrall, and Uther the Lightbringer, just to name a few) and things. The books expand on these stories and histories. They are really quite interesting, and all the characters have emotions and stuff, not mindless video game characters who blast thing with fireballs. The plot is quite exciting, and they read just like your average fantasy book. Nobody I know that doesn't play the game has tried the game, but I think anyone would like them. But if you do play, then these books are a must read. You will be questing later and say to yourself, "Hey, I read about that guy!" Or you'll be reading and you will have these moments were you realize that you've actually walked to the exact same spot on your pally or whatever class you play. It feels awesome.

Well, thats all for now. I'll post about one of these books tomorrow, but I gotta go do something now.

EDIT-- Looking back on this post, I realize that I am wrong, WoW is one of those games that tells you to go kill stuff for no reason. I was sort of obsessed with it. Sorry.