Yes, you read that right, FunDip. And yes, I'm actually going to right a longish post on FunDip that will be funny, scientific, and captivating. I believe that it can be done. I may be wrong.
I have discovered two fundamental rules of FunDip. They are as follows:
Rule One: Never, I repeat NEVER, put FunDip in a small cup and attempt to lick it out of the cup, followed by a sudden exhalation of air (or any gas) from your nose. This will cause the FunDip to fly up into your face, rendering you blind unless you have sufficient eye protection. You may think that breathing into the cup would force the FunDip down, but FunDip defies the law that atleast one part of any object must be remotely natural, so it may as well defy gravity.
Rule Two: Never, I repeat NEVER, I repeat my repetition NEVER, mix FunDip with water.You may assume that mixing red FunDip with water would make a red sugar water. But FunDip doesn't act according to natural rules. It becomes a murky brown substance, that when drank causes the drinker to gag violently, and when mixed just the right way, to die a horrible death. NEVER do this!!
I have thaught of some other things, namely:
FunDip is not at all natural. In fact, the only way that I can think of to make FunDip is to take some artificial dirt made of plastic substitute, encased in a glass dome to keep out all air, and anyone who enters the dome must wear protective garb to keep their naturalness out, and the must plant fake plastic substitute sugarcane seeds, followed by constructing artificial steel sugarcane, harvesting the artificialness to soak with sugar, and then remove the sugar and add this mix of chemicals that they call "Blue 1." This clearly is a poison that didn't work quite right, or an alien extract. I have to go with the latter.
I have discovered two fundamental rules of FunDip. They are as follows:
Rule One: Never, I repeat NEVER, put FunDip in a small cup and attempt to lick it out of the cup, followed by a sudden exhalation of air (or any gas) from your nose. This will cause the FunDip to fly up into your face, rendering you blind unless you have sufficient eye protection. You may think that breathing into the cup would force the FunDip down, but FunDip defies the law that atleast one part of any object must be remotely natural, so it may as well defy gravity.
Rule Two: Never, I repeat NEVER, I repeat my repetition NEVER, mix FunDip with water.You may assume that mixing red FunDip with water would make a red sugar water. But FunDip doesn't act according to natural rules. It becomes a murky brown substance, that when drank causes the drinker to gag violently, and when mixed just the right way, to die a horrible death. NEVER do this!!
I have thaught of some other things, namely:
FunDip is not at all natural. In fact, the only way that I can think of to make FunDip is to take some artificial dirt made of plastic substitute, encased in a glass dome to keep out all air, and anyone who enters the dome must wear protective garb to keep their naturalness out, and the must plant fake plastic substitute sugarcane seeds, followed by constructing artificial steel sugarcane, harvesting the artificialness to soak with sugar, and then remove the sugar and add this mix of chemicals that they call "Blue 1." This clearly is a poison that didn't work quite right, or an alien extract. I have to go with the latter.
So I did some research, and I found this quote:
In May of 2007 our son had a package of Lik-M-Aid (also known as Fun
Dip) by Wonka....Within a couple of hours his entire mouth was ringed by an acid burn.
People are getting ACID BURNS from FUNDIP. Clearly this an alien attempt to slowly poison our planet. Yep, I can make a pretty good conspiracy theory, can't I?
According to the Urban Dictionary, FunDip is:
A disgusting American candy popular with hyperactive six year olds. Sugar, citric acid, and food coloring reduced to a powder and served with a candy "stick" to lick the powder off of.
So yes, it IS possible to post a long article with at least two quotes from good sources, a conspiracy theory, two viable laws of the universe, about FUNDIP!!! Yes, it is possible. My work for today is done.
3 comments:
That's why you're supposed to dump out the powder and just eat the stick!
@Dad I never said the FunDip was horrific, I said mixing it with water was horrid. There's a difference.
Ask your parents what happens when you put about a tablespoon of PopRocks into your mouth all at once. Or what happens with Diet Coke and Mentos. Science is cool!
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